[Otohime's plan strikes Edo!! The Treasure Box G turns everyone old.]
[Soldiers from Ryugu Palace chase after Shinpachi and the others!! In such a desperate situation, Gintoki and Katsura are...]
["The Older, The Wiser"]
This is it. You think we can use this cave?
It'll at least put a roof over our heads.
There's a skeleton, though.
These are the remains of someone who drifted to this island like we did.
If we don't come up with a plan to escape soon, we'll end up like that.
Huh? Shinpachi-san?
K-Kamenashi-san?!
I've been looking for you...
Don't give me that! Where the hell have you been, you stupid turtle?!
Ow. Hey, let go...
How dare you repay my kindness with ill will!
You were going to take us to Ryugu Palace?!
Because of you, we're stuck on this deserted island!
Shinpachi-kun, calm down.
Huh? Hey... What are you saying? Deserted island?
This is a deserted island! How could you do this? There's nothing here!
Huh? This isn't a deserted Island. This is Ryugu Palace.
Wh-What the hell kind of nonsense are you taking about?!
Of all the things to say!
If this is Ryugu Palace, then my toilet is also Ryugu Palace, damn it!
Calm down, Shinpachi-kun!
If your toilet is Ryugu Palace, is it okay to say that my microwave is also Ryugu Palace?
I can say that, right?
I don't care!
Shin-chan...
Did you find something?
Sis!
We found food! Today, we'll be dining on turtle stew!
Oh my.
Wait, wait, wait! I'm serious! This is Ryugu Palace!
I swear on kelp! No, I swear on seaweed!
That's pretty much the same thing!
Shinpachi-kun, Shinpachi-kun...
What is it?
[Ryugu Palace, 3-chome, 2-5-3]
Well, I'm really glad that everyone's safe.
I never expected you guys would wash up near my house.
What?! Hey, wait! What?!
R-Ryugu Palace! This is Ryugu Palace?!
Yes. Well, this IS Ryugu Palace, but this is the very outskirts of it.
Pretty much near Saitama prefecture.
N-No way!
Then how do you explain that?!
There's a dead body in Ryugu Palace!
No matter how I look at it, that was someone who got lost at sea here!
Oh, this is my wife.
What?! Your wife?! This is your wife?!
She's not dead.
She just gets really tired when she's laying eggs and tends to grow very thin.
She even stops moving.
Thin? She's a skeleton!
Midori, say hello to everyone.
Sorry, my wife is a bit shy.
She's not shy. She's a lot of things but shy isn't one of them!
[Save me...]
Shoot, you scratched up the floor again?
Oh well...
One more month until the due date, huh? I understand your suffering.
I'll help you out. Just lay some healthy eggs.
She's beyond help!
Make sure you put your shell on when you sleep.
What's the meaning of this?
Anyway, it seems that this isn't a deserted island.
Does that mean we can return to our normal lives?
All right! We can leave! I'm sick of Ryugu Palace!
We had a lot of complications, but I'll have no complaints if we can leave!
Let's get out of this place right now.
Hey, turtle! Get us off of this island immediately! We're sick of this place!
Where will you go back to?
Huh?
There's nothing for you to return to anymore.
Wh-What is that?
Turtles?! An armada of turtles is headed this way!
Run away!
Hey...
What is that?
Just take a look at the terrible thing that's happening to Edo.
Machines that look like turtles suddenly appeared and dropped mysterious boxes.
The gas emitted from these boxes is turning everyone in Edo into old fogies.
What's happening?
What exactly are those turtles, those boxes, and that gas?
Back to the studio.
Hanano announcer, some people claim that this is some sort of bio-terrorism.
Have you received any information concerning that?
Umm, well... I forgot.
Hanano announcer? That's odd.
The video feed doesn't seem to be coming in very well.
Out of the way old lady! Well, let's cut to a commercial break for now.
Edo's being turned into a city full of old people!
What's the meaning of this?! What happened to Edo?
That's the Treasure Box G,
a weapon developed in Ryugu Palace that hastens old age.
Ryugu Palace?! Ryugu Palace launched that attack on Edo?!
What's the meaning of this? Isn't this Ryugu Palace, too?!
Don't tell me you're an enemy, too!
If I was your enemy, I wouldn't have taken the time to bring you here.
It's dark at the root of seaweed.
[Note: A parody of the Japanese proverb "It's dark at the base of a lighthouse," which means "People often know little of what is happening right under their noses."]
You mean, "It's dark at the base of a lighthouse.
Kamenashi-san, did you bring us to this island to save us...
from that disaster?
That's half right and half wrong.
I brought you all here because I believe you are
the only people who can crush Otohime and her plan.
Look over there!
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! Don't waste time.
You stupid, slow turtles! Do you want me to whack you onto your backs?
Kamenashi!! Come on out!
You're the captain of the brothel owner's bodyguards!
We're going to punish you with death for starting a revolt against Otohime-sama.
We know you're harboring Earthlings! All Earthlings are to be annihilated!
All you Earthlings...
Surrender immediately!
Tsk! He's on to me. Let's go.
Huh? Hey... Wait!
There he is!
Over there! It's Kamenashi!
Hey! What's going on?!
We came here to have a fun summer vacation!
We're on summer vacation!
I'll give it to you straight.
Otohime, the ruler of Ryugu Palace, plans to conquer this planet.
At this rate, Earth will become a planet full of only the elderly!
I discovered her plan and went looking for the bravest people
who could defeat Otohime and her plan!
[Doraimon]
But I was forced into committing evil deeds while I searched
for the right people who had pure souls and could not tolerate evil!
Yes! You are those people!
You weren't forced!
You abandoned your wife.
Why are you running away with such voyeuristic-looking videos.
What's with the "Doraimon" label?! You're completely trying to disguise them!
There are turtles everywhere. We're completely surrounded.
We've been cornered!! What do we do?!
Crap! Of all times, why are the people we can rely on the most not here?!
Try your best to hold out!
Just a little longer.
I'm sure they'll come.
Hey! What are you doing?
Gin-san will...
Hey, sorry to keep you waiting.
Gin-san...
I'm coming right over. Wait for me.
Shin, Shin...what was it?
It's Shinichiro-kun. You've gotten big.
Come here. I'll give you 50 yen.
Umm... Who are these old guys?
It's Gin-chan and Zura.
I'm not "Zura." I'm Ka, Ka...
What was I saying?
I believe you were saying something about Kamille Bidan.
[Note: Parody of Kamille Bidan from GUNDAM Z.]
That's right. Ka, Ka...
Don't tell me you touched the sample
Treasure Box G I snuck out of Ryugu Palace.
What sample?
I don't know.
Anyway, I've been wondering: Who are you?
No way!!
Excuse me.
We have captured the rebellious former captain of the guard,
Kamenashi, along with six Earthlings and one Amanto.
Yes. Good work. I commend you. Kamenashi is to be immediately executed.
Use a treasure box on the rest of the Earthlings.
Understood.
Now all the beautiful people on this planet will disappear.
I have no need of anyone in this world who is more beautiful than me.
I am the most beautiful creature in the world.
I, Otohime, the ruler of Ryugu.
Look, look! Look at all the fish swimming!
This is like a dream!
I never dreamed of being able to spend summer vacation at Ryugu Palace!
Pops Matsudaira, thank you so much!
This is the life.
Only you beautiful girls
of Cabaret Smile can wash away the filth in my world.
I'll be the one who serves you today.
Have as much fun as you like.
Matchan, I love you!
All right! Bring me some Dom Perignon!
He's not doing anything here that he doesn't do at the hostess club.
He's apparently a VIP member.
He always spends his summers here. Celebrities really are spoiled.
That's so true. Otae-chan should have come with us.
I can't get in touch with her. I wonder what she's doing.
It's not every day you get to come to Ryugu Palace.
That's true. I thought it was just the product of a folktale.
It's really just a super exclusive luxury resort, isn't it?
After all, Urashima-han had fun here until he became an old man.
[Note: Hanako is talking with an Osaka accent.]
We shouldn't overdo it.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. This place isn't such an easygoing place.
Ryugu Palace used to be a giant mobile luxury brothel.
It used to travel between planet nations.
It doesn't belong to any country.
As an organization that is beyond the law,
it's received many favors from powerful people
and has gained enormous influence.
Right now, it's a moving palace,
no, a city-state that has as much power as a single country.
Why does a palace with that much power stay in these waters?
Huh? Well...
Uh, hold on a second.
Hello? Huh? I'm at Ryugu Palace right now.
Ah! The Dom Perignon is here!
What could this be?
Huh?
Edo has been turned into a city full of elderly chumps?
What kind of nonsense are you talking about?
They're still bringing in the people who have been turned old.
We're going to become like that, too.
I'm not sure what she's up to,
but it looks like Otohime really wants to
turn this country into nothing but old people.
What are we going to do?
The turtle was taken somewhere else,
we can't move, and those two are still like that.
Why have they been watching sumo all day?
[Note: Elderly people in Japan like to watch sumo.]
Why is there a TV in this cell?
Gin-chan, what are you eating?
He's not eating. He just doesn't have any teeth.
What are you secretly eating by yourself?
He's not eating anything.
Give it to me!
I want to eat it, too!
Kagura-chan, he's not eating anything!
And were you really going to eat what was in his mouth?!
Hand it over!
Shut up! Why are you making such a fuss?!
Don't just stay indoors all day.
Children should play outside, you lazy bums!
Then get rid of the iron bars, you old fart!
I want to... I want to eat it, too!
Honestly. Young people these days...
They have their Family Computers and their Mega Drives...
[Note: Family Computer (Famicom) = NES. Mega Drive = Sega Master System.]
They stay in the house all the time.
All of your examples are old.
When Gintoki and I were young,
we would run around the mountains and only play with our Mega Drives in our free time.
In the end, you played with them, too!
Zura, you...
In the end you played with the Mega Drive, too.
You took way too long to comment!
How long of a pause do you need?!
I already commented on that.
You don't need to push yourself. Just leave it to me.
Don't treat me like an old geezer.
I still won't lose to you young folks.
As I would have expected of you, Gintoki.
Young people are so rude and unrefined these days.
When we were young...
These guys are really annoying!
Let's ignore them the next time they say something silly.
What on earth happened?
They've completely became old geezers.
Do you think there's a way to turn them back?
We probably have to ask Otohime in person.
I don't think she'll just tell us, though.
It's not a big deal if we leave them like this, is it?
Gin-san was always like this, wasn't he?
No, he was a little brighter, Sis.
No, he was kind of like this.
He's always had white hair and he's been kind of like this
since we've been on the air for three years.
You are all just as lazy as him!
Hey...
It's all right. I already commented, so you don't need to say anything.
In the end you played with the Mega Drive, too.
You said that already. That's the wrong comment.
I want one of you to come with me. You there...
Come with me.
Wait, I'll go, too...
Take care of everyone.
Sis!
Crap!
What should we do? What in the world do we do?
Let's defeat Otohime.
Let's save Otae-chan,
turn everyone back to normal and crush Otohime's plan.
Now that everyone on this planet has become old,
we're the only ones who can do it.
But how?
Keep walking!
Please spare my life.
It's too late to beg for your life now!
You can regret ever becoming an enemy of Otohime-sama in the next world!
Kamenashi...
Quickly, grab the keys!
Good work, Kamenashi!
You did it, Kagura-chan.
What was the point of me doing that?!
What are you doing?!
Fire!
Out of the way, old man!
You don't have much longer, so let me live!
You probably won't have a decent life anyway, so let me live.
Katsura-san, what are you doing?! Look out!
I'm not "Katsura," I'm "Matsu."
[Note: "Matsu" means pine tree.]
Even though he's an old geezer, he really hasn't changed at all!
There's been a prison break!
Kamenashi's escaped!
Six of his accomplices are with him! If you find them, kill them!
Hey, hey, is this really all right?
We're finished if they find us.
Act like a turtle.
If you make any suspicious moves, they'll notice immediately.
Act like a turtle? You're barely a turtle.
You're just some guy.
Don't forget to add "kelp" and "seaweed" to the end of your sentences.
You don't do that.
Hey, what's wrong? Hang in there!
She's getting ready to lay eggs! Someone call for help!
She's going to lay eggs!
It's all right. We'll look after her. Sorry for the trouble.
That's too realistic!
But he said to act like a turtle.
Cut it out.
What were you planning to do if the enemy realized who you were?!
You were gonna try it too, huh?!
[Note: Sea turtle eggs look a lot like pong pong balls.]
Why else would you be holding ping pong balls?!
Well, I got it from them.
Come on. Don't be afraid. Open your eyes!
Keep your eye on the balls!
That's definitely Kameda! And that's so old!!
[Note: Refers to the Three Kameda Brothers, a boxing trio, who dodged ping pong balls as part of their training. "Kame" in "Kameda" means "turtle" in Japanese.]
Hey! All of you, cut it out!
This is more clowning around than you've ever done before.
I can't handle all of this by myself.
I'm not acting silly, Shinpachi-kun.
In the end you played with the Mega Drive, too.
I don't need your help!
Otohime-sama, I've brought you one of the prisoners.
Honestly, they sure are stubborn. They still want to defy me?
I commend them on their persistence.
Are you Otohime-sama?
You called me here and you're not even going to show me your face?
Or is your face so ugly you can't show anyone?
What a spirited young girl. My apologies.
I heard there was a young lady amongst the rebels.
I called you here because I wanted to see your face.
I was once the Captain of Otohime's bodyguards at Ryugu Palace.
Yes, back then Otohime was a sparkling pearl of the ocean.
Ryugu Palace was a paradise that soared across the universe.
We weren't bound by anyone and we didn't encroach upon anyone.
We were a free country.
Do you want to know why Ryugu Palace has dwelled in the oceans of...
this remote planet for so long?
Long ago, a young man came to Ryugu Palace.
He had come to the rescue of one of our messenger turtles.
That kind young man was specially invited here.
Otohime grew very fond of him and gave him a warm reception.
But Ryugu Palace flies far distances between planet nations.
And time moves very differently than it does on Earth.
When the man returned to Earth...
Everyone he loved was gone.
Upon hearing this, Otohime became very sorrowful.
She sunk Ryugu Palace into the seas of this small island nation
and it has never left since.
She discarded her position and honor
so this tragedy would never happen again.
She used to be so kind, noble, and beautiful.
But little by little she changed.
Don't worry.
If you were a young and beautiful girl I wasn't just going to make you old,
I would've taken your life.
But since you're not, I can toss you aside. I'm much cuter.
Huh?! Bring it on!
Show your face! Let's settle this fairly, you wench!
Huh?! You want to fight?! You think you can beat me?!
As Otohime grew older and passed the 2,000 year mark,
she became more obsessed with staying beautiful.
She sent her soldiers everywhere
in search of ways to keep herself young.
She even used up all the public funds on stupid research.
The country quickly became bankrupt.
And in the end we ended up creating a device
that for some reason made people not younger, but older.
The Treasure Box G.
Otohime gave up her quest for eternal youth and beauty.
And decided to use the box as revenge
against those who had what she no longer did.
In other words, she planned to turn
all the people of Earth into old geezers.
You're just a young brat, that's all!
If I was younger... If only I was younger...
Your age isn't your only problem, tramp!
[To be continued...]
[Will everyone reach the palace safely?!]
[What is the secret of Ryugu that Gintoki and the others find?]
[Otohime versus Otae. How will it end?!]
["Beauty is Like a Summer Fruit"]
[In order to split up the remaining fighting power evenly... Kamenashi takes out his secret weapon-the Spouzer.]
[Note: Parody of Scouter from Dragon Ball.]
[Gintoki and his friends' fighting power will be revealed next week!! Yes!! I'm getting kind of excited!]
[Note: Parody of ending remark from Dragon Ball]